Top Chef Season 5 Coming Up!

Woo-hoo! November 12 at 9pm CST and I cannot wait. Make sure to mark calendars. But I do have some concerns regarding this new season that heads to New York City.

1. There's a new judge. Ted Allen has apparently flown the coop. Tom and Padma are still around as is Gail (and, really, what would a TC be without Gail flirting shamelessly with one particular male chef through the whole season--see Sam from Season 3). They're good. They're okay. But, there's a new guy on the official roster. His name is Toby Young. He wrote some famous book about cooking. I just hope he's not a loser. I was secretly hoping they'd keep that 4th judge's chair open for some fantastic guest judges as they have in the past (Bourdain, Ruhlman, Ripert, even DiSpirito). I guess we'll just have to wait and see.

2. The Cheftestants look very accomplished...and severe. This always concerns me. For marketing purposes, the casting of these shows has gotten skewed by who's willing to be the most obnoxious thing on tv. I hope this is not the case. If we learned anything from last season can it be that Stephanie was the perfectly likeable "girl next door" who happens to wield her knife like a culinary sabre. I hope these people are interesting and talented and not just loud.

3. The challenges. As we've seen in other skill-based reality shows (Project Runway to name one), as the seasons progress the file-o-fax of challenges gets thinner and things can get very bizarre. Top Chef consistently surprises me with the fine balancing of creative challenges that are do-able and that showcase necessary foundational skills. I hope they keep it up. If "cooking with Pop Rocks" is a challenge, I'm going to be annoyed.

4. Keep the drama for your mama. One of the major annoyances I have with the continuation of these types of shows is that latter seasons often opt to focus on "character storylines" instead of the minute-to-minute developments. So, producers find the "interesting" people and interview only them or edit the show to focus on relationships that are taken out of the context of the competition. Top Chef has done a great job of not really doing that and I hope they stay true to form here. The season with Marcel was enough for anyone to handle and they seemed to correct for that last season. I hope they stay in that vein and don't head back to fabricated dramatics.

There it is. Those are my worries couched in between my utter and abject excitement of something great to watch on a weekly basis. I'm counting down the days. Seriously.

A Very Merry Top Chef Christmas

Admittedly, I'm a couple weeks behind on my tv watching, so last night amidst the pathetic television re-run fare (especially given the seemingly never-ending writers' strike), I hunkered down to watch the Top Chef Christmas special. Shot in Chicago and featuring some of my favorite "oldies but nasties" like Marcel, Stephen, Tiffany, and Betty, this Christmas special was a nice shot of a good show that I miss in its off-season. Here's a list of the "naughty" and "nice" of the event:

Nice

• It was great to see all the usuals--although I'll admit it was a weird band of minstrels. Tiffany, Stephen, and Marcel have now done about 4 of these specials and now are starting to appear as TC whores, but I still love them and they make things interesting. They were joined by CJ, Trey, and Sandy from this past season and Betty and Josie from who cares when. It was nice to watch and know what people were gonna bring.
• A slightly new format. Three courses total with 2 chefs eliminated after each course. The real kicker: the Chefs didn't know who was eliminated until they appeared to serve the next course. So all 8 started: Sandy (no surprise) and Stephen (surprise) went first; Josie and Betty next; Marcel and CJ next, leaving...
• Trey and Tiffany as the finalists. If any two chefs have gotten equally screwed on this show, it's these two, so it was nice retribution for both. Having said that, I still think Harold was the rightful winner of season 1 (in which Tiffany came in 2nd). These two had to cook a surprise 4th course in 30 minutes with the leftovers. Ah, glorious Top Chef shenanigan through and through.
• Tiffany won. The first woman to ever win one of these eff-ers. She deserved it and went home $20,000 richer. Meanwhile, Trey took home a pile of autographed cookbooks. Really, just like $20,000 only on glossy paper (not.) Ahh, poor Trey screwed again, but least this time it was 2nd place and not 9th.
  
• The guest judges. I'm not a "foodie" (thank god) so i don't know their names but they're a group of my favorites from season's past. Even though the group of cheftestants (just to be clear, that's Bravo's word) appeared kinda random and not equally talented (c'mon, we all knew Sandy was out first and Josie and Betty would follow close behind), these judges were the cream of the crop. Bravo...Bravo.
• CJ's joke about the nutcracker. In the QuickFire, they played "Nasty Santa" or whatever that game is where other people can take your presents, with each contestant drawing one "secret ingredient" for a challenge that would earn someone a "free pass" for one round of elimination. CJ kept drawing awesome ingredients and people kept taking them until he finally got walnuts which were presented in a Nutcracker to which Tiffany responded, "That's appropriate." Hilarious. For those unaware, CJ had testicular cancer and in his "talking head" moment said something to the effect of, "The last time I had nuts someone took them and kept them. This time, they're mine." Mmmm-mmm--nothing like a good double-entendre nut joke to make my Christmas merry and bright.
  
• Tom Colicchio--he's like "tough guy" of food. I miss him. AND...I think Tom has always pulled for Tiffany to win. He seems to really respect her and I think that's really good to see evident on television. He falls all over her food (and he did in Season 1 as well). Good for you Tom--endorsing the woman who deserves respect and acknowledgment for beatin' the boys fair and square.
  

Naughty

• No Tony Bourdain. Or Rocco Dispiritu. Together. God that would have been awesome.
• Padma and CJ are definitely doing it. And even if they're not, the editors are trying to make us all think they are. We all remember the "Breakfast" episode last season when she wanders in to wake them all up to make her breakfast and she and CJ just completely drool all over each other. C'mon. We know. Honestly, I don't blame Padma one bit.
• Giving Trey cookbooks as 2nd prize. HOW LAME. And he has to play it off all, "Oh this is great." No, it's not great. It's cheap and hokey and self-serving especially when Padma puts hers in there--how she gets lumped in with some of the best chefs in the world I don't know.
• Josie overcooked the turkey. Sandy screwed up mushroom soup. Really? HOW does one actually do this and keep getting invited to these shows? Where are Harold, Sam, Elia...some others of the AWESOME chefs who really could have been interesting to watch. Instead we get stupid Betty who just makes up food (last night it was some crappy and ridiculous "Pork Baklava" or something which just means pork tenderloin wrapped in puff pastry) and calls it great. She's always wrapping something inappropriate in puff pastry. (Do with that entendre as you will, but I'm referring to her season's ridiculous and disgusting looking savory portobello and onion "napoleon." C'mon...A Napoleon is a DESSERT...BETTY! Even my non-foodie self knows that!) And I've had it! Ted Allen totally called her out, but its just not fun to laugh at Betty anymore because she's such a food dolt. (Hands smack the table top) I JUST WANT TO SEE THE TOP CHEFS ON THIS SHOW!
  

All in all, no complaints here. It was just the perfect taste of Top Chef at the mid-way point of its dormancy for the winter. In March it returns for the next season, completely filmed in Chicago, and I'm already counting down the days. It'll be delicious...literally.

It's a Bravo Reality Couple!

I know I'm usually vigilant about keeping things quasi-intellectual over here (or at least *saying* that that's what I do) but I was browsing the reality-show websites today and found out this little tidbit: Dale Levitski, runner-up of Top Chef #whatever fame, and JackMackenroth of Project Runway 4 are a couple!

Dale












Jack


Awww. Supposedly they met unrelated to Bravo (on Myspace) but I think I'm not going to believe it. I'm gonna have to look at the numbers and see how badly Project Runway is doing this season. Especially because they set it up so perfectly with the end of Top Chef--I think on the reunion show, one of the main segments was talking about Dale's single-ness. Obviously, many people were bothered by this but, more importantly, many people knew about it. So, could it be that just weeks after we meet Jack on PR, touted as "the HIV-positive designer," these two winsome bachelor's make a *random* love connection? Oh...come...on.

Those writing about it have been making Jack's HIV+ status a huge talking point. I read about four interviews that in a polite and round-about way asked "how that's all working" (my polite and round-about way). He responded in the same "PSA style" to all of them as if to ensure the masses that Dale's in no danger. No one really seems to be inquiring about his health which, I'm sure, Jack appreciates. ("Hey guys, I'm over here...")

All I know is, thank god these two got together...I was wondering what we were going to do now that Lance Bass (of Backstreet Boy and 'I almost went into space because I paid the Russians $1 million' fame) and Reichen Lehmkuhl (of Amazing Race infamy) are kaput. Just in the nick of time, I'd say. That place the media sets aside for "the gay couple" was getting a little dusty.

My Acceptance of the Top Chef Finale

It's taken awhile for me to come to terms with the way Top Chef season 3 ended up. Hung won. (crickets...quiet...more crickets). By all means, Hung was worthy. He'd been told by the judges outrightly 3 weeks ago that he was the best technical chef there, but that they found his food soulless. They wanted to see more of "Hung" in his cooking. Frankly, I thought his cooking already was a good indicator of "Hung." I guess they gave him more credit--maybe he was different in person. But, in being consistent with the rest of what seemed to be an "iffy" season, I don't think the new live finale format went off without any hitches.

Hitch #1: Casey blew it in the final round making the "final 3" format senseless. Once we watched her completely bite it in Aspen (which was sad, but predictable. I think it would be hard to argue that Casey deserved to be in the finals. Did I like her, yes. But was the run of creativity that got her to the end in part luck, also yes.) it was silly that she had to show up to the final judging table and basically try to save face. Everyone knew she was out--including her. She stuck up for herself, god love her, and bowed out gracefully. However, the final three didn't seem to "pan" out (ha-HA!). Recommendation: Go back to the final 2 scenario. I almost wonder if they tried the "final three" to avoid the fan reaction from last season when fan-fave Sam shockingly got eliminated (b/c he totally sucked it in the last competition round) leaving Ilan and Marcel (neither fan favorites) to go to the lackluster, overly "foamy" finale. It doesn't matter--the 2 best should, by all means, funnel into the final.

Hitch #2: Directly related to Hitch #1--the judging. It annoyed me that Gail was back for the finale when she'd been there all of 3 prior shows. Anthony Bourdain seemed the rightful choice to be there, as he was there equally often as Gail, blogged the show EVERY WEEK (check this out for the finale--hilarious and I'm willing to trust that he knows better than I) , and brings forth the chef perspective instead of the food critic perspective. Ted Allen was already representative of that group and, honestly, the show is not "Top Food Snob." If you're going to harp on technical skills and, ultimately, choose Hung b/c of them, then your judges need to have some credibility in that area. Sorry, Gail, but get out. Recommendation: Stick with a panel of three judges who are there EVERY WEEK and have the one rotating guest judge throughout the season, but for the FINALE go to the three who have seen everything from start to finish.

Hitch #3: Dale had soul that the judges somehow overlooked. Fact is, I loved Dale. I think a lot of fans of the show loved Dale. Dale is lovable and obviously serious and he lives food. Hung tells me that but Dale shows me that. So, when the judges did the dish-for-dish comparison, it sounded to me like Dale was the one. The judges got hung up (ha-HA...and I didn't even mean to here) on that (supposedly) crappy lobster dish, but here's the thing: Dale brought it. He served it. He rocked it. Yeah he made a mistake...but he had the balls to make a BIG mistake. Anthony Bourdain called them "balls the size of casaba melons"--seriously. That would have made me choose him. Hung did not do that, thereby forcing me to assume that Hung has little balls...(ahem) culinarily speaking. Recommendation: For the sake of my fan-ship, please pick Dale next time. Just throw me one...I'm begging. (Although, I think Harold of Season 1 managed to be both a fan-fave and a kick-ass chef).

Hitch #4: With the "final three" format, the eliminated chefs who returned to "help" prepare the final meal were actually a hindrance. Brian got to eat the meal. Um, excuse me, but Brian had just been eliminated for basically presenting a circus on a plate. Is he the best to judge refined culinary style in the final? And Howie? Seriously, I felt bad for Casey; I think Casey felt bad for Casey. She should have gotten extra points for getting Howie's help. When they did the final two, each chef got two of the last four eliminated, thus making up some kind of team. Honestly, that was better for the most part. Recommendation: Stop forcing people to work with the crappy chefs who were already eliminated.

I did really love one part of this finale: I thought it was genius to pair each finale contestant with a major culinary figure (Rocco DiSpirito, Michelle Bernstein, Todd English (who's hot)) That was cool to watch them work as sous chefs for the contestants and to hear their commentary ala Tom Colicchio from the kitchen. If they could talk them into it, these chefs should be the "helpers" for the finale, not eliminated contestants.

So, there it is. My humble opinion. Am I happy with Hung? No. But honestly, I haven't been happy since Harold won in Season 1, so now the bar is really high...but I'm sure looking forward to the next season already.

Top Chef--The End Is Near

Thanks to the fact that Bravo reruns Top Chef episodes hourly, I was able to catch the next episode which is the last from the finale. Frankly, I'm still reeling from the fact that CJ was ceremoniously showed the door a couple weeks ago; with him exited my own personal choice for the winner. CJ not only made beautiful food (which I can only assume smelled and tasted delicious) but he was awfully cute and incredibly tall. As a character on an unscripted, competition-based show, CJ was one of my favorite people by far. Anyway, CJs gone and I'm trying to get over it.

So who's left. Hung who possesses in his being the heart of darkness. Casey who's the pretty home-town Texas girl with no classical training. Dale the Chicago, supposedly "edgy" gay chef (we know because he's reminded us hundreds of times) who contributes...well, I'm not sure. It always seems like he should be better than he is. Brian, the chef who only makes fish and generally makes it mediocre...and who's basically a tool. And Sara who is a cheese chef and not really up to snuff.

Here's the problem with this show as I see it at this point: It's boring and not in any way a run for Top Chef. Every week looks more like, "Who sucked bad enough to go home." This week Sara was the one who bit it (for serving raw chicken to the major deans of the French Culinary Institute). She was not a Top Chef.

But the problem is that none of them really are. From here on out I'll root for Casey; she could be the first female winner of Top Chef. BUT...she clearly is not "a top chef." She's just the most likable left. And I HATE THAT in a show that promises amazing things...like Season 1 delivered in Harold.

"Top Chef" is Lowdown

Top Chef producers and judges, I just have one bone to pick--that's right I have a beef. You people are all chicken. (cramming in as many food idioms as I can): The "Restaurant Wars" episode this season (3) was not good. Here's why:

1. There's no such thing as a "do-over." Yes, both teams equally sucked on the first go around. Dale screwed up on the scented candles, Howie made disgusting risotto. So judge them on that!!! You've only been saying all season, "We have to judge them based on what they've done tonight." Instead, on this one episode, you put that rule aside immediately and gave them another go-around.

2. You gave them a crappy designer and sicced the winner of the QuickFire with Steven from last season. Master sommelier or not, that dude is 100% hindrance. He was that way on his own season. You really think it helped by having him run his yap again... to the point that Dale had to tell him to shut it. It was like baby-sitting a guy with a free-run of the wine cellar.

3. Tre got the boot. This is my biggest annoyance. He was a great chef and to have Howie and Casey standing there while Tre goes home...please. Somebody step in and do something. At the end of the show, there's a disclaimer that reads that contestants are eliminated based on the judges' decisions in consultation with the producers. When you kick a guy off like Tre (Padma, are you listening?) it makes it easy to enact the Conspiracy Theory offensive. Is there a coincidence that Howie, who's made questionable food and been up for elimination many times, also happens to make great television while Tre, who's been solid since day one, happens to be a little less, shall we say, "televisonally appealing." (Buddy Tre is totally boring...that's the problem). Casey who's all homespun and everything (the only chef not formally trained (Tre was the other...hmmm)...as was evidenced in the Chopping Onions Debacle of '07 on Wednesday) gets a huge amount of screen time. Why? Her cooking ability? I think not...she's a cute girl with an unfortunate hair-do (in my humble opinion) from Texas (perhaps also unfortunate)...that's why. C'mon.

4. Executive Chef's get all the blame. Another problem. While I understand leadership skills are important, in this case Tre and Sara Mair took the "heat" for whatever went right or wrong in their kitchen. (And Sara did deserve all the credit she got for dealing with Howie who is an ass...lovable maybe but still a complete, utter ass.) However, the problem with just holding them accountable is that it's allowed slackers like Casey and even CJ (who I love) to 'skate' through to this level. Other "team leaders" who were much more talented (from what I could see) were kicked off much earlier in the competition while their team members almost got a free pass because they weren't in charge. This is how we have Casey, who can't chop onions, still here.

I love this show. It is good tv. But let 'em cook and judge 'em fair. If the whole disaster that was the "first" Restaurant Wars challenge got another chance, then Tre should get one too.

"Top Chef" is Tops

There truly are a lot of reasons to love Bravo's "Top Chef."It's awesome reality television. Here's why the recipe works:

1. Really interesting food challenges. It's been progressive across the seasons; now in it's third season, we're seeing some really cool food prepared beautifully (I'm sure it smells awesome--if only they'd hurry up with that "smell-i-vision" idea) but under impossible time and/or budget constraints. The contestants have to rise to the challenge consistently--and usually they do.

2. Tom Colicchio as the "head judge." This guy is a great mixture of gruff Burgess Meredith in Rocky ("C'mon Roc!) and really refined and respected opinions in the food world. He makes great television because he does not appear elitist--he might be finicky and an utter nightmare to work for (which is strictly hypothetical--I have no idea) but we'd never know it. Other judges from the culinary world appear "bitchy." Not Tom. Not only do I trust what he says but he also rocks the "Mr. Clean" look that just makes him so darn cute. I'd love to sit down and have lunch with Tom.

3. A stable of past contestants involved in the current season. Leanne Wong (Season 1) is the food producer (she devises the menu/rules for the challenges and tests them) and she's really brought the level of cooking up with demanding yet really innovative challenges. Both Harold Dieterle (Season 1 Winner and my overall TC favorite) writes an incredible blog responding to the most recent episode as does fan-favorite Sam Talbot (Season 2 Final Four). While I don't read them, Ilan Hall (Season 2 Winner) and infamous Marcelle (Season 2 Runner-up) also give their two cents in blog form. What's nice about this is not only some continuity to the show (this presence seems to make it more fulfilling in a way that other reality shows are not--have you heard from Colby, the winner of one of the middle "Survivor"s recently?) but they also provide the really interesting behind the scenes details. They've walked in those Crocs--they know the pain of a Quickfire challenge intimately and hearing their takes on things adds yet another dimension to an already good show.

4. Really good guest judges. Out of the four judges on the panel, one is always a guest from the culinary universe. In the past seasons, they've been kinda lame (with some notable exceptions). Season 3 has brought out some really famous chefs. Although some say they've gone more commercial (lately Rocco DeSpirito was hawking his Bertolli frozen dinners), I don't care. It's people I know which makes it all the more fun when they saw awful things about how the chefs mutilated the challenge. Definitely ups the train-wreck factor.

and last but certainly not least: 5) Anthony Bourdain (often guest judge) is now a regular blogger about the show! I couldn't be more thrilled. The regular judges' blogs have been good (especially Tom's and Gail Simmon's) but because of schedule conflicts, Tom's had to "take a leave" from blogging for awhile. Bourdain filled in a couple weeks on Tom's blog but now he's got his own and it's awesome. It's a mini Kitchen Confidential every week and I'm drinking it in. Thank God for Anthony Bourdain.

And more on Top Chef Season 3 to come; it's getting good now and the cuts are starting to get more important...and painful to watch.