Restricted "View"

Oh, there are days. And usually, for this show, the days that Barbara Walters appears means nothing good. So this morning, I woke up, stumbled out to my couch (yes at 10 am...so?) and stretched out to tuck into the 20 minutes of on-air hilarity and, at the very least, topical segment aptly-named "hot topics" section of The View, only to see Barbara Walters in all of her "mommy dearest" glory. Accordingly, I sighed with exasperation and braced for the cringing that would staaaaart...now.

Barbara makes no bones about the fact that she often dislikes the topics that get "raunchy" too quickly--topping that list anything sexual in nature (including body parts, even if in a non-sexualized context. Quick story: this morning, Sherri Shepherd was mentioning that she was in a picture with Pamela Anderson. The bottom line of the story was that there were a lot of "boobs" (Sherri's word...well and mine I guess) going on. Barbara insisted they change the topic. Of course that went down like this--Barbara: "We're not discussing this." Sherri: Shocked and scared face.) She's also not fond of criticizing the "celebrati"--Britney Spears, Paris Hilton, Nicole Ritchie, Lindsay Lohan (other's call them the bimbo summit which seems appropriate). Usually Joy will bring these issues to the table only to have Barbara pull her usual--"Her parents are personal friends of mine...blah blah blah." If you dis the Republicans, you better watch it--Barbara's comin' after ya. If you dis anyone she's interviewed--be careful and watch your back. To summarize: Barbara Walters is a no-sense-of-humor kill-joy who's so deeply involved in ass-kissing the rich and famous that she cannot see the sorry joke she has become.

All of this, then, becomes interesting when juxtaposed with the insane levels of credibility her "journalistic reputation" has granted her over the years. If you're wondering what that consists of just tune in to a show--Barbara usually name-drops like she's getting royalties on the mentions. People trust her as a journalist but on The View she appears ignorant, intolerant, and...well, stupid. No, really. Barbara censors her own show for the same reasons that people want to censor the Internet and the FCC fines networks gajillions of dollars for saying "shit." All of that causes chaos and (gasp) the possibility for free-thinking. And we can't have that--not in Barbara's world--where free-thinking only logically brings about the conclusion that we've been duped for 20 years about the intellectual capacity (or lack thereof) of this woman with a weird accent and a snooty air about her. No, here decorum (read: women are demure and speak when spoken to) counts for a lot. Then I have to wonder how this show is about women. Newsflash Barbara: Women have boobs...and sometimes we wanna talk about 'em.

So, we have The View that once brought women's perspectives (albeit often stereotyped and represented by an archetypal member of the aggregate) to the table in search for their experiences. Apparently, according to Barbara Walters women don't have sex (or don't enjoy it), don't swear, don't question authority, don't criticize others, should not be comfortable discussing underwear, bodily fluids of any sort, body parts in general, or anything that could become "raunchy."

Since when did journalists decide that getting up on their soapbox and claiming the position of "moral authority of the planet" was acceptable? And how in the world does BW become THE person who decides what is acceptable breakfast-table conversation? And how are the all the things she likes to discuss somehow perfectly appropriate? This morning, Barbara called Bill O'Reilly someone she was "fond of." The last time I checked, Bill O'Reilly was an ugly and ignorant bigot who proudly demeans anyone that is not Bill O'Reilly--but apparently that's acceptable conversation? That conversation is more ugly and raunchy than the discussion of any body part I can think of...

Barbara--for god's sake (or should I not say god...does that make someone uncomfortable...)--if you're going to preach to your audience and your panel about what is acceptable publicly these days, you need to give Oprah a call--she can set you up with the ultimate in "queen of the universe" lessons (I believe that comes with a t-shirt from Oprah's favorite "Queen-of-the-universe" t-shirt company as well). Otherwise, sit down and shut the fuck up...and possibly persuade Elizabeth to do the same.

Changing "The View"

So, "The View" has been without a 3rd and 4th seat for awhile and it's time to start fixing that problem. Barbara Walters has been on every day, a situation that I, as faithful "Viewer", find uncomfortable at best. This morning I clicked off the show thinking, "That woman is a credible newssource?!?" So, go figure that on the very day I get annoyed with this situation, my friend Monica sends me this Yahoo news story discussing the possible, nay, probable filling of seats 3 and 4 by none other than Sheri Shepherd, already nearly a regular host, and to my delight, Whoopi Goldberg.

Here's my two cents on such a move: I'm delighted with the thought of Whoopi filling Rosie O'Donnell's seat. Over the past weeks since O'Donnell abruptly left the show, Goldberg's filled in and every time has been great: she's able to maintain the same "edgy voice" as O'Donnell without the brassiness and...well...obnoxiousness. Rosie was good because she stirred things up. But little Ro liked to pick fights and, when Elizabeth was the usual target, it was funny. But sometimes it got old. Based on her past hostings, Whoopi still calls it like it is but in such a way that dialogue is actually encouraged. And I love her voice which ultimately swings my vote to a "two enthusiastic thumbs up".

Shepherd, on the other hand, I'm not so sure about. Good point #1: She's funny and quick and able to spar with Joy entertainingly. Bad point#1: Conservative, thus putting her in a supporting role behind the inimitable, unlikable little one-note pixie Elizabeth. Good point #2: She seems to be intelligent and willing to say things that create conversation. Bad point #2: She's scared of Barbara which makes her more-than-likely to do a lot of fence sitting.

Of course, I've been ignoring the elephant in the room up to this point: the View's obviously looking to increase diversity. We know this because, according to the Yahoo article cited above, "The View" has been without a regular black cast member since [Star Jones] Reynolds left, and both Goldberg and Shepherd are black." Thanks Yahoo for clearing that up. Reynolds herself has actually commented on this fact (I don't remember where I heard this...probably FOX News, in between Lindsay and Paris).

Seriously, though...I wonder what the effect of such an "open agenda" will be for viewers. And, if diversity is the goal and these guest spots have been the "auditions," then I'd say the View is more interested in black co-hosts than diversity as I've yet to see any other "categories" of diversity tapped. Frankly, I can't remember there ever being a good cross-section of races and ethniticities represented in guest co-hosts, let alone categories of sexuality. Oddly enough, the only time sexuality is addressed in co-host choices are when Ross the Intern and Mario Cantone guest hosted (on separate days)...pivotal because they were the first men asked to guest co-host; typical because the joke was that they were obviously "two of the girls" (Mario Cantone is openly gay, I couldn't find an official statement from Ross regarding his sexuality).

So, what's up with that, Barbara?