Survivor Micronesia: Fans vs. Faves

Well frick.

Gladdened by the end of the WGA strike but still woefully aware of its reality by the number of new shows on recently (um...that would be ZERO), CBS wooed me by putting on a new Survivor season. I couldn't help myself...just pleading for something that wasn't a re-run I gave it a shot...and now, of course, I'm hooked.

This is the 16th (yes...16th...which means this show actually started when college was a recent memory for me) season and I was certain it had absolutely nothing to offer me. I watched the first couple seasons (I witnessed the wonder that was Richard Hatch and watched Sue Hawk give the now famous "The Snake and the Rat" speech) but I grew weary of what was just new and inventive ways of being evil and back-biting. Then of course, Mark Burnett and his production crew threw in a couple of really wretched seasons (remember the racially divided season? What about the all-stars?...BIGOTED and BORING, respectively) AND magically launched the career of arch-conservative and The View ruiner Elizabeth Hasselbeck, cumulatively making me think I'd never go back.

But television writers' strikes do weird things to one's soul: alas I found myself interested by this format which pits one tribe of "favorites" (those who have competed in past seasons and have been voted fan favorites) against the "fans" (new people). I'm not sure this is necessary, but by tonight's show I'd say it's working just fine.

But despite the formulaic 1-hour show, obviously so well rehearsed (by 15 other seasons) and the utter gutsiness of Jeff Probst who has absolutely no career except this show and is now a gazillionaire because of it, I still got hooked and here's how: the Newbies (Fans) go to Tribal Council tonight and it's pretty clear that there's this major alliance that's going to vote off Chet. (Who's Chet?...DETAILS ARE NOT IMPORTANT RIGHT NOW...PAY ATTENTION.) When Jeff goes to tally the votes, sure enough, Chet gets one vote. Get's two votes. Ope...yep...Chet's gone. Then Tracy gets a vote. Then Mary. Wait...Mary....Mary's part of the huge alliance supposedly voting Chet off. Then another vote for Mary. Three votes Mary. Oh my god...what the...? Four and Five. Mary's gone and these two stupid, gulumphish men who think they're running this major alliance are sitting there like apes trying to figure out what in the name of all that is holy happened.

Chet lives to see another tribal council and I'm thinking that the Survivor I remember and somewhat respect is back. And I'll surely be sitting here next Thursday, waiting to see what the gulumphish men have to say about the transpiring of the rail thin but conventionally beautiful Mary who wore the skimpiest bikini being voted off. And slowly coming to realize that they may actually be next.

Oh Survivor...I've kinda missed you.