America's Next Top Model Cycles Back

THANK GOD the new fall tv season is about to get underway. I've about had it with stale re-runs and the heinous omni-presence of According to Jim which is a whole different post. So, to celebrate the return of America's Next Top Model I thought I'd outline the pros and cons to watching what is blatantly and unapologetically my favorite brand of brain candy. (The following reflections could not be possible without MTV's fantastic choice to air two ANTM marathons back-to-back a couple weekends ago--cycle 3 on Saturday and cycle 7 on Sunday).

PRO1: The product of this show is something I consider art. Now, I don't consider the show art--that's something very different but the photoshoots they do are often strikingly beautiful and fascinating to watch. Talk about taste cultures.

CON1: It's addictive. Often one show isn't enough and if a marathon does happen to pop up on MTV or VH1, the whole day is just shot. This, I think, is a consequence of the competition aspect. Modeling can be fierce...apparently.

PRO2: Mr. and Ms. Jay. Jay Manuel is the artistic director of the photoshoots who actually teaches these bizarrely awkward girls, hailing from every po-dunk town around the country, to be models in their own right. His critique often ranges from purring a "That was beauuuutiful, Jontelle" (the names of these girls...I swear they're made up) to "Lurice...tha's just UGLY, girrrl." I love Mr. Jay with his bleach blonde hair and his half-open hindu inspired blouse (and yes, it's a blouse). He, like Tyra, (and Oprah) possesses the ability to morph instantaneously between sophisticated fashionista and tough-talking ghetto punk. Now, Ms. Jay is another story. The famous runway trainer who taught Tyra to stomp, Ms. Jay is the absolute cutest 6'4" (6'8" in heels, which he frequently wears) black man to ever appear in pigtails. He's often coiffed (last season it was a beehive inspired do) or weaved, wears dresses with heels, and stomps a fierce runway. The Jays are amazing.

CON2: ANTM has become the platform on which Tyra is becoming as unbearable as Oprah. Routinely, she gets all righteous on the girls and says something that starts with, "When I was..." By my count, Tyra's in her early 30s which means she's too young to pull that. She's also full of contradictions. She'll chastise a girl(no, seriously...they might as well be boxed on the ears) for gaining weight and then yell at Janice Dickinson for calling the same girl "fat." Janice is an obnoxious pig--everybody knows that including her. Tyra tries to play both sides of the coin. Not good.

PRO3: Watching this show is a gateway to knowing and seeing the fashion world. Tyra doesn't mess around with unknown designers and stylists. These girls *become* the world of fashion, they end up with a "book" of photos they can use, and meet important people. It's the ultimate in networking for which every one of those contestants that makes it to the house (top 13) should be VERY appreciative.

CON3: This show has made fashion modeling seem like a desirable and achievable career for any skinny chick who might be scooping ice-cream or brewing coffee right now. It's the desirable part that gets me. Many of those girls say things like, "I've known I wanted to model since I was 12." Is that good? Isn't it basically saying, "I've known that I want to be objectified and judged on my physical attributes, posing in a variety of questionable clothing in the name of a haughty and socially irrelevant business since I was 12." Why do we perpetuate and, in this case, encourage what seems ultimately a despicable and shallow business. Then again, I'm in academics and maybe that's not much different.

Anyway, despite any pro or con, I will be watching (actually taping) the first episode of Cycle 9 which proclaims to be the "future of fashion." With a tag line like that, how could I stay away?