Reality TV Takeover

(Harumph). I'm starting to feel the weight of this writers' strike as my lack of posting is really due solely to the fact that THERE'S NO NEW TELEVISION ON except for reality shows that are even starting to show the stress of lack of creativity. I'm stuck in an endless cycle of re-runs and marathons which were fun for a few weeks but are now making me feel lifeless and lethargic. So, in an attempt to save the pop culture tent from it's dearth of television, I'll give you a quick up date on the shows I have been watching...and re-watching...and re-watching....and re-watching...oh, sorry--I fell into the endless loop again.

Project Runway (BRAVO): I do look forward to this show b/c it's still able to maintain some sense of newness. Finally (half-way through the season), I feel like the people left make sense. I just want to know what kind of good luck potion Ricky's been taking...he should have been gone weeks ago. Everyone else at least creates compelling designs. And Michael Kors just makes me happy. He's just powerful enough to say whatever he wants and people listen, no matter how bitchy. And Tim Gunn, although for awhile seemingly a robotic version of himself, has managed to wittily regain my loyalty. That man does have a big ol' compassionate heart, albeit with a starched collar.

Make Me a Supermodel (BRAVO). No. No I won't. Because this is an awful show. If you want to know how bad, I'll tell you. It makes me regularly think, "Tyra Banks really is talented." Niki Taylor and Tyson Beckford--two of the weirdest, boring-est, plastic animatrons I've ever seen. And who are these dregs of model hopefuls who they found? Bad.

Jon and Kate Plus 8 (TLC). These two (Jon and Kate) wanted three kids and ended up with 8. It's fascinating to watch what family chaos really looks like. And the kids are cute. And Kate's crazy. Not a bad way to spend an hour on Monday evenings.

America's Next Top Model Marathons (MTV, VH1). These have been running non-stop since Christmas and I'm officially running out of desire to watch them. I know every episode now and I do have my favorites, so given the marathon format, I can tune in at certain times to watch my favorites. Serves as a great reminder of just how bad the afore-mentioned modeling show really is.

The Office Rerun's (TBS). I'm just new enough to the series that these reruns are like little gems on Tuesday nights. Like Forrest Gump's box a'chocolates, ya never knaw what yure gonna git.

Scrubs Reruns (Comedy Central). This has been my one savior as I never watched this show when it was actually running on primetime, so it's like a new series to me. JD and the crew--love 'em.

Celebrity Rehab with Dr. Drew (VH1). Despite it's title and the fact it's on VH1, I haven't found this show necessarily exploitative or disgusting. It's fascinating to watch Dr. Drew Pinsky (of Loveline fame) treat these "celebrity" clients (Joanie Laurer--Chyna Doll--is a stretch on *celebrity* I think) who are withdrawing from a variety of drug addictions. As Dr. Drew says, the point is not to make "trainwreck" tv but to display the reality of rehab and I think this show does that. Is it "iffy" that the star's get paid to do this--yes, but it's VH1--they pay for celebs to lose weight, to live in a house together for no reason, to get married. It's what they do. Of all of these shows, Dr. Drew brings a little credibility and reality (truly) to a painful experience.

And while I'm reaching a point of desperation there are some shows I absolutely refuse to watch no matter what. No condition makes it ever okay to watch:

Rock of Love II with Bret Michaels (VH1). We had to suffer through RoL I and now there's another. The women on this show are disgusting. Bret Michaels is disgusting-er. No. No. No.

American Idol. When will this show go away? A parade of sucky singers being sold as what Americans should want to hear.

Almost anything on E! Now that Ryan Seacrest has his manicured, curiously feminine hands all over that channel, it's like American Idol lite.

Are you Smarter than a Fifth Grader? Not if you watch this show.

There's a whole list, but they all look basically the same. Let's just say this: I've never appreciated television writers more than I do at this very moment. Please writers, come back soon!